When I first lived in Bali in 2009, “Where are you going?” quickly became my least favorite question. I would see someone in the street and they would ask “Where are you going?”It drove me nuts! It was none of their business where I was going! Why would they want to know?
I quickly learned that the source of my irritation was a translation issue. The greeting for good morning translates as “where are you going?” They were just saying hi and had no interest in knowing where I was literally going! …
“There is a sense of responsibility that comes with high levels of achievement, compromise even. [To become a principal] I would have had to make the decision to devote time, energy and resources to this path and stay with it. The harsh truth is that I, Dominique Mas, was not ready to give up my freedom.”
This was one of the hardest sentences to write in the first chapter of the book I’m working on.
In my work with a lot of high performers, I encounter self-disappointment regularly because of what I call the “It’s-good-enough” syndrome. This usually happens when…
Your brain is a connection machine.
Your brain is constantly making connections between everything it knows because it is constantly trying to save energy — it tries to organize all the data that comes in so that it can predict what happens next. This, of course, happens without you having a clue it’s going on. So fast you can’t even. Period!
By organizing and trying to make predictions, your brain wants you to act and react in the same way as you have before — this will allow it to save resources and since it worked last time (you’re still…
Last week, I spoke to someone who contacted me about potentially receiving coaching from me, and after a short conversation, I said no, thank you — I’m not interested in working with you.
They were shocked.
Surely a coach would want to make money and take on a new client!
Here is the thing: That person wanted a quick fix. They wanted someone to “kick their butt” and hold them accountable.
Whether we are talking about becoming more productive, becoming a better leader, or becoming less of a victim to your unconscious biases, we are talking about transformation. …
This weekend, I spent quite a bit of time re-reading parts of David Eagleman’s wonderful book “INCOGNITO: The Secret Lives of the Brain.”
Here is a paragraph taken from it “Your brain is built of cells called neurons and glia — hundreds of billions of them. Each one of these cells is as complicated as a city. And each one contains the entire human genome and traffics billions of molecules in intricate economies. Each cell sends electrical pulses to other cells, up to hundreds of times per second. …
“I’m playing too small.”
“I want to push myself and go big.”
“I started feeling invincible but for some reason, I’ve been slowing down and playing smaller”
I’ve heard all these comments in the very first call with various clients I now coach. They are powerful leaders, entrepreneurs, real estate investors… and in response, I ask them to tell me about themselves. They tell me about their life and their previous career and inevitably, they downplay their accomplishments — and I know why.
Being a high performer can be extremely lonely. You gain others’ admiration very quickly but you often…
You’re a high performer. You excel at new endeavors and you thrive on the recognition that comes with exceeding expectations. You are incredibly driven and when you set a goal for yourself, you very rarely veer off it until you have achieved exactly what it is you have set out to do. Rings a bell?
Because you are such a high performer, you have incredible self-awareness so you know that behind every single one of those strengths, a dark side is lurking. Here are responses from over forty interviews I conducted with self-identified high performers. …
“It’s our job to rise up to our own dreams!” I declared with vehemence and confidence. My friend looked at me with a friendly smirk and said: “Right. How do I do that by next week?”! I laughed and told him what my coach always says: “A goal is not a place to get to; It’s a place to come from.”
When we want to create a dream, we need to show up in the world with the attitude of one ready to make it happen. …
Rich Litvin, one of my favorite coaches says that a lot of great things start with a declaration. So, I would like to make my declaration:
I AM A HIGH ACHIEVER.
There, I’ve said it and it feels good! You might wonder why it’s so important for me to say it out loud. Well, I’ll be honest with you, it’s not easy being a high achiever. For instance, I find it incredibly hard to slow down: there is always a new challenge to be won, a new project to be started or a new person to be helped. The result…
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
“How will you afford to live in NYC?”
“Wow! That’s brave!”
“I wish I could do this…sigh”
“How cool! I hope it works out for you!”
Those were just a few of the comments I got when I announced that I would be leaving my comfortable, well-paid job with 13 weeks vacation a year to take the time to explore and decide what the next step was for me.
When my last day of work arrived, and the horizon was fully clear, I stood with all those I had worked with…